This month, we’re answering even more of your questions about sex and relationships (with the help of four experts), as collected in our Teen Love/Sex Survey 2009. To read more about the survey statistics (440 teens participated!), pick up a copy of the July/August “Love/Sex” issue (if you don’t subscribe and would like a sample copy, please email editor@jvibe.com). And don’t forget to check out this month’s article with additional exclusive survey stats. To catch up on the questions and answers from last month, click here.

“How does the Pill work, exactly?”
Normally women ovulate—or release an egg—about once a month. To get pregnant, an egg must be released and sperm must enter the uterus to fertilize it. The Pill is made of hormones—estrogen and progestin, the same ones your body makes naturally. The hormones in the Pill “trick” your body into thinking it’s releasing an egg by giving you the same hormones your body would produce if it were actually releasing an egg. But because you don’t actually ovulate, i.e., no egg is released, you can’t get pregnant. There are many different brands of birth-control pills, and if taken at the same time every day, they’re about 98 percent to 99 percent effective. You should talk to your doctor about the type of Pill that’s best for you.

“If I’m just messing around, is there any way to get a girl pregnant without having vaginal sex? What about contracting STDs?”
Yes—but it’s highly unlikely. Exploring your sexuality with your partner in this way—often called “outercourse”—drastically decreases your chances of becoming pregnant, but any semen or pre-ejaculate that gets into the vagina can make its way inside. You can also still get STDs through outercourse—herpes, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HPV and HIV can all be transmitted this way. So always make sure you and your partner have been tested for STDs before fooling around, even if you’re not planning on having intercourse.

“What’s up with boys becoming so big and tough when they sleep around, but a girl is a ‘slut’ the first time she puts out?”
This is the classic “double standard” that’s existed for generations—that it’s “normal” and even admirable for guys to hook up with various girls, but that girls who express their sexuality in this way are perhaps immoral. The truth, of course, is that both guys and girls are sexual beings. But also keep in mind that casual hook-ups might not be the best idea—love, respect and communication are extremely important, especially when a relationship turns physical. Last month we mentioned that at a time when hormones are raging, it’s important to learn how to put limits on behaviors and give yourself permission to think about things, like the consequences of having sex. Figure out what feels right for you, and have a clearly defined plan for what you would do if you find yourself in a situation that might compromise your personal values.

“How does Judaism view sex?”
As we mentioned last month, sex is described as the first mitzvah—the first divine command to Jews. But in Judaism, sex isn’t taken lightly; it’s most often defined by marriage, in which it can be the holiest of acts. In fact, the Hebrew word for sex used in the Torah is “yud-dalet-ayin,” meaning “to know.” But what does it mean to “know” another person in this way? For one, it means you love and respect your partner and would never use him or her. Judaism demands consent and teaches respect; sex under these circumstances is a way to share yourself emotionally, spiritually and physically with the one you love. Remember that the Torah treats sex as something sacred, with real consequences; it reminds us that sex should be part of a deeply committed relationship.

To answer these questions, we consulted with four experts:

—Sharon Benattabou, M.D., a family physician at Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y.

—Annie Fox, M.Ed., an author, educator and online adviser for teens and parents.

—James Querido Kahn, who received his rabbinic ordination from Hebrew College, a pluralistic rabbinical school in Boston.

—Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, who received her rabbinic ordination from the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies in Los Angeles. Rabbi Ruttenberg is also the author of Surprised By God: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Religion and editor of The Passionate Torah: Sex and Judaism and Yentl’s Revenge: The Next Wave of Jewish Feminism.

Kali Foxman is Associate Editor of JVibe.