Matt goofs off with his friend Jenny.

I have to say, as an openly gay teenager, dating and relationships haven’t come very easy to me. However, this isn’t because of homophobia or fear of what others think; it’s mostly because there aren’t many openly gay teenagers as young as me. I have experienced some forms of homophobia—not just within dating and relationships—but I haven’t let it stop me from being who I am.

I first came out as bisexual in October 2007. During that year, I was able to experiment and truly look within myself, and I ended up coming out as gay in the summer of 2008. Since then, I’ve been on a few dates and have even had a couple of relationships.

Now, I’m not exactly an expert on relationships, and I haven’t devoted myself to studying what love truly is. But I can tell you that when I go on a date with someone, I’m pretty sure some things occur differently than if it were a straight couple going out.

One thing I’ve really noticed on the dates I’ve been on is that people tend to notice that my date and I are, in fact, both men. Many are just curious or surprised to see two men holding hands, and I’m completely fine with that. However, what can really get on my nerves is when people are just arrogant or openly show their dislike of homosexuality.

An example of this was during one of my more recent dates. We had gone to a restaurant, and while sitting across the table from my date, I held hands with him on the tabletop. The people behind us made it very clear they didn’t enjoy that, and it honestly made me feel a little hurt. But I don’t let what others say get to me.

I expect to see some forms of homophobia, as do many others who are gay or bisexual. I just let myself know that I’m still the great person that my friends and family love, no matter what others say. Just because someone calls me a “fag” because I’m holding hands with someone else doesn’t mean I’m going to turn to my date and say, “I don’t like you anymore because being gay is wrong.” I mean, if someone walked up to a straight couple and said, “Wow, you guys are such straight people,” do you think one of them would turn to the other and say, “We’re through!”? I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t think so.

But I don’t want you to think this is how it is for every single same-sex couple all the time. In fact, a lot of the time I hear “Aw!” and “How adorable!” from people who see me with a date. In addition, I’ve probably felt the same amount of affection from someone I’ve dated as any other couple, gay or straight. Just because a relationship is between two men or two women doesn’t mean their feelings for each other have to be less than the feelings between a man and a woman in a relationship. It also doesn’t mean same-sex couples don’t have their fights and arguments; they’re the same as any other couple, except for their genders!

I want everyone reading this to know that whether you’re straight, bisexual, gay, transsexual, questioning or whatever, it doesn’t matter what gender you choose to be interested in because it doesn’t define who you are. Being gay doesn’t define who I am; it’s simply another quality I have. I enjoy dating men, but I also love hanging out with my friends and having a great time. So far, I’ve had an alright love life, but it isn’t my whole life. And even if people don’t agree with it, it doesn’t mean they’ll stop me from having one.

Matt Lopez, 16, will be a junior this fall. He’s openly gay and is the vice president of his BBYO chapter, Alan Soifert AZA. Matt loves photography and hopes that in the future he can use his photography to inspire others.